If You Cause This Disaster
by AnotherRustyKey
Summary: I'll point you home, I'll point you home... A series of drabbles based on songs by the wonderful Barenaked Ladies. I do not own the songs or the characters.
1. Call and Answer

**I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own this song, which is entitled Call and Answer, by Barenaked Ladies. Each chapter will be based on a different Barenaked Ladies song, and each will be an individual one-shot, unless otherwise stated. Enjoy!**

_I think_

_It's getting to the point where I can be myself again_

Eighteen year old Harry Potter sighed deeply, sweeping his jet black hair out of his eyes with one hand as he sat on the window sill of the sitting room of the flat he shared with his best friend Ronald Weasley in Hogsmeade. Looming above them in all it's glory was Hogwarts school, home to the girlfriends of both young men. Ron was at the Three Broomsticks with his girlfriend Hermione Granger, best friend to himself and Harry whilst at school, newly turned girlfriend. He was slightly bitter that the two were enjoying a light-hearted drink or two at the pub, whilst he was sat brooding over the fact that his girlfriend would rather do her homework with her ex-boyfriend Dean Thomas than have a drink with her current boyfriend, him. He knew he was perhaps being unfair- Ginny had a lot of work she needed to do, and Dean Thomas was taking all of the same classes as her. In a way, he was happy that she had a good friend to talk to, but he wasn't so happy that said friend was also her ex-boyfriend.

_I think_

_It's getting to the point where we have almost made amends_

Why could she not study with Hermione instead? Dean wasn't stupid, but he wasn't a patch on Hermione. Oh no, wait, Hermione was here with her boyfriend, incidentally, Harry's girlfriend's brother. Great. He watched as a troop of giggling Hufflepuff sixth years girls, looking around furtively, hurried up the street towards the Three Broomsticks. Students shouldn't leave the castle grounds unless they have permission, but the rules were generally relaxed a little in favour of the sixth and seventh years, however, something about the girls' expression told him that they did not have permission...

He couldn't quite put his finger on why it was that he didn't feel happy with Ginny and Dean being friends. He trust Ginny entirely, Dean less so, but the thought of them spending hours huddled together in the cosy Gryffindor common room made his stomach turn nastily. Was Ginny going off him?

_I think_

_It's the getting to the point that is the hardest part_

He sighed again and decided to send her a message. Even though he had replaced his beloved owl Hedwig who had been killed a year previously with another owl named Tag, he preferred to send a patronus to his girlfriend every now and again, just so she could hear his voice, and perhaps make her think of him a bit more. Ginny claimed she had not yet mastered the art, so never sent one back, despite Hermione teaching both Harry and Ginny how to do it at the same time. Instead, she sent back an owl in response.

He thought about the feeling he had experienced when Ginny had agreed to be his girlfriend again, "Expecto Patronum!" he shouted, his silvery stag appearing before him.

"Okay Prongs," his affectionate name for his patronus, "Can you deliver this message to Ginny Weasley please? She should be sat in the Gryffindor common room."

_And if you call, I will answer,_

_And if you fall, I'll pick you up,_

_And if you cause this disaster_

_I'll point you home, I'll point you home_

"Ginny," he spoke into his wand to record the message, which would then be transferred to his Patronus. He paused, trying to think of the words, "Is everything okay with you? With us? I'm a bit gutted that you couldn't come and meet me today, Hermione says you're busy studying with Dean," he fought to keep the bitterness from his voice, "Give him my best," what was he trying to say? "Please come and see me soon. Hermione says that you have a Hogsmeade weekend coming up the weekend after next, but I would love to see you before then," again, words failed him. What did he want to say?

_You think_

_I only think about you when we're both in the same room_

_You think_

_I'm only here to witness the remains of love exhumed_

"I hope Quidditch practice is going okay, don't go wrecking that Firebolt!" Harry had bought Ginny a present to congratulate her on being made Quidditch captain in the shape of a Firebolt broomstick, the same as his own, the fastest racing broomstick in the world, favoured by lot of international teams, "I.." words were so difficult, "I love you Ginny."

_You think_

_We're here to play the game of who loves more than whom_

_And if you call, I will answer,_

_And if you fall, I'll pick you up,_

_And if you cause this disaster,_

_I'll point you home, I'll point you home_

With that, Harry sealed the message within the Patronus and it slid out the window, soaring gracefully through the air towards Hogwarts.

_You think_

_It's only fair to do what's best for you and you alone_

_You think_

_It's only fair to do the same to me when you're not home_

As Harry watched the patronus fly towards the Gryffindor tower, a glimmer of silver flying through the air, he felt a strong desire to fly with it to greet his girlfriend. Or was it really to check what she was up to? He wasn't a hundred percent sure. He thought he could trust Hermione to tell him if anything untoward was happening behind his back, but what if Ginny had Hermione on side? What if they were closer than he had realised, and Hermione was really covering Ginny's back by saying she was studying? Maybe right now Ginny and Dean were cuddled up by the fire, laughing at that fool Harry Potter for trusting his girlfriend.

_I think_

_It's time to make this something that is more than only fair_

No, Harry mentally shook himself, Hermione's loyalty was to him, he was sure. Perhaps a quick call in to the Three Broomsticks was in order, to ask Hermione in person. She was always hopeless at lying face to face. He pulled on a thick cloak blew out the candles and left, heading in the direction of the beloved pub, not noticing a school owl fly over head, it's head turning left and right, searching.

_And if you call, I will answer,_

_And if you call, I'll pick you up,_

_And if you cause this disaster,_

_I'll point you home, I'll point you home._

Three hours later, Harry staggered out the pub, one arm around a giggling Hermione's shoulder, the other around Ron, who had a silly expression on his face, as he struggled to support Harry's weight. The Weasley brothers had always found Harry's inability to drink copious amounts of alcohol most amusing.

_I'm warning you, don't ever do_

_Those crazy messed up things that you do_

The three staggered into the flat. Perhaps if Harry had been slightly less inebriated he would have remembered that he had actually blown out the candles before he left, but as it was, he didn't, so he wasn't at all surprised by the light room that met him.

"You know," he slurred drunkenly into Ron's ear, "If you three ever want a threesome," he joked, carrying on with a conversation they had been having earlier, in which they discussed the probability of Draco Malfoy having a threesome with Pansy Parkinson and Bellatrix LeStrange, as he had bragged loudly in the Great Hall one morning, much to the embarrassment of Pansy, according to Hermione, "If Draco isn't available," ("That would be such a shame..." Hermione snorted) he continued on, turning into his bedroom, "I'm your man!"

_If you ever do_

_I promise you, I'll be the first to crucify you_

"Ginny!" Harry was immediately sobered by the sight of his incredibly angry girlfriend standing by the window, "What a lovely surprise!" He held his arms out wide to embrace her, but she stormed past him angrily, shooting a murderous look at both Ron and Hermione before stomping off, "Oh dear, do you think she got the wrong end of the stick?" he asked drunkenly. Ron nodded, before falling over in a heap, laughing uncontrollably.

The next day, Harry sent the largest, most beautiful bunch of flower he could find up to the castle, along with a note explaining what had really happened to Ginny. He received back only a few words in reply:

_Now it's time to prove that you've come back here to rebuild._


	2. Vanishing

**Author's Note: Sorry for the massive delay in updates recently- I've had exams, but now I'm done for the summer, so I shall be getting back on track.**

Sixteen year old Ronald Weasley sighed deeply as his girlfriend of two months slid into the Gryffindor common room from her dormitory. Her eyes visibly lit up, and he noticed several third year boys leap out of the way as they noticed her coming. Lavender was known to be slightly clumsy at times, especially when she was excited. Ron looked down at the ring he was meant to be charming to sing lullabies, and knew he had been defeated. There was no way he would be able to practice with her sitting on his knee.

"Oh Ronald!" Lavender said excited, drawing a handkerchief out of her sleeve, you have some dirt on your nose!" That took Ron back a few years.

_A rabbit and a top hat, a handkerchief and ring_

Ron tried to duck and dodge the invading arm and cast one last attempt of a spell at the ring. It immediately started singing, but not a lullaby- a love song. The group of third year boys laughed, as did Harry, who was sat in an armchair a few meters away. Lavender, however, was delighted,

"Oh Won-Won, you made it sing that for me, didn't you?" she gushed, dropping the handkerchief and throwing her arms around Ron's neck. Over her shoulder, Ron saw Hermione get up from the arm chair next to Harry and leave through the portrait hole.

_With the wave of a wand he'll pull your heartstrings_

Ron watched her go with a familiar sinking feeling in his stomach. He hated seeing her leave, especially when he knew it was because of him, or rather, his relationship with Lavender. He had barely spoken to Hermione since he and Lavender had become a couple, but he wasn't entirely sure why. Perhaps he had some unresolved feelings for Hermione, but nothing that could stop him from talking to her, surely. But then why wasn't she talking to him. Why was she avoiding him at all costs? He looked back at Lavender and realised that she had been talking all through his daydreaming. She turned to stare at the portrait hole and turned back with a look of disgust on her face.

"Eugh, that Hermione Granger, so snooty, I hope she gets done by Filch for being out after hours.." Her expression lightened and she settled herself down on Ron's lap, arms thrown around his neck.

_He's a magician_

_Hoping, wishing_

_And you're the one vanishing_

He kissed her lightly before deciding that he really didn't want to do this now. He stood up and excused himself, saying he was going for a bath. Lavender offered to go with him, (he saw Harry's eyes widen when she said this) but he declined. He didn't want her anywhere near. He needed some time alone.

He trailed back up to the boys dormitory and grabbed a towel and his pyjamas. He couldn't entirely rely on Lavender not coming up the stairs to the boys bathroom, so he decided to go somewhere where she couldn't follow- the prefects' bathroom. He quickly exited the common room and headed off towards his favourite bathroom.

Things with Lavender were moving way too fast. It was only a couple of days previously that he noticed that Lavender wore a locket with the words 'Mrs. Ronald Weasley' engraved on the outside of it. That had freaked him out. But perhaps what freaked him out more was the fact that he noticed this locket that she wore beneath her school shirt. They had been interrupted by a group of ghosts so they could do nothing but redress and head red-faced back to Gryffindor Tower. He didn't really want this, so why was he doing it?

_Isn't that the necklace he found behind your ear?_

_He's floating upside down below a chandelier_

Before he knew it his feet had carried him to the prefects' bathroom. He muttered the password and slipped inside. It smelt faintly of lavender and he shuddered. Both the colour and the scent as well as the word and the girl herself made him shudder internally these days. He turned the tap which filled the air with the scent of musk instead, and then turned on the hot water.

He thought back to his first visit to the prefects' bathroom. It had taken place a week or two after their return to Hogwarts for their fifth year. He and Hermione had decided to investigate together, so they both donned swimwear underneath their pyjamas and crept out late one Saturday night to try it out. They didn't want to leave Harry out, so the pair waited until he was in bed asleep before sneaking his invisibility cloak, the Marauders map, and walking to the bathroom. It was the most dishonest thing Ron could remember either he or Hermione doing to Harry.

He thought back to the wondrous look on Hermione's face at finding bubbles strong enough to sit on, or play quidditch with (or something called football?). He remembered her finding the 'Musk' tap with sheer delight, and practically suffocating both of them by overloading the air with it. It was beginning to resemble that now.

_Wishing he had the power to make you reappear_

_He's a magician_

_Hoping, wishing_

_And you're the one vanishing_

He turned off the musk tap and added some rainbow foam. He thought back to the huge tower that Hermione had piled on top of her head on their first visit. The pair took it in turns to build an impressive tower of foam on their heads, and then have the other jump from the edge of the bath, through the tower, into the water. He had never seen Hermione act so childishly. She giggled like a girl, rather than chuckling like he and Harry did. She had rosy cheeks, but in an excited way, rather than an angry, or an embarrassed way.

"I love.. This.." She had said uncharacteristically shyly, before grabbing a handful of foam and shaping it on Ron's head. He had spluttered and protested, but not too much. He found himself with a rainbow afro. Hermione looked dreamy as she attempted to juggle bubbles.

"I don't know how any of the prefects get any work done, this is so much fun!" she said, losing control of one bubble, which Ron jumped to catch before it hit the surface of the water, "Whoops, thanks Ron!"

Eventually the two calmed down, but found themselves extremely hungry. Dinner had been a long time ago. They had no idea what time it was, but it had to be the middle of the night.

"We could go to the kitchen, ask the house elves to whip something up for us?" he asked, temporarily forgetting all about S.P.E.W.

"No! Ronald, we are not going to get those poor house elves up in the middle of the night just to make us food!"

_All the words of love he longs for you to hear_

_He whispers them each night into a lion's ear_

_Under the stage lights of the Bellagio_

_He has got your card but you had to fly home_

_He's a magician_

_Hoping, wishing_

_And you're the one vanishing_

Tearing himself back to the present, Ron looked around the room. The bath was nearly full, with a thin layer of foam across the top. That had been hands down the best bath he had ever had, but now he found himself not talking to Hermione, bathing alone to avoid the girlfriend he didn't want. He regretted not taking more baths with Hermione whilst they were friends- they had fun together when Hermione was not within sight or sound of a book. What he wouldn't give to have her back now for an hour of mucking around like kids.

He stripped naked before sliding into the water, crouching slightly so that the water lapped against his chin. What was he going to do? How could he chuck Lavender and simultaneously gain Hermione as a girlfriend or even a friend? He tilted his head back so that his ears were completely submerged in water. He reveled in the eerie silence- anything that didn't shriek 'Won-Won' was fine with him. He stayed like this for quite some time before lifting his head to straighten a crick, and when he did so, he found that he was no longer alone.

Sat on a raised ledge within the large bath over by the far edge was Hermione. All Ron could see of her was her face and her hair, floating majestically in the water. He was temporarily mesmerised.

"Hermione!" His voice lept by an octave, "What are you doing in here?" he gasped.

_You are vanishing_

She ignored him, so he waded through the water towards her. She didn't move.

_You are vanishing_

"Hermione?" He called her name out softly when he was only a foot away from her ear.

_You are vanishing_

He reached out to touch her hand, but as suddenly as she had appeared, she vanished.

_**You are vanishing...**_


End file.
